Tuesday, August 27, 2013

When Life Gives You Lemons...

I haven't updated my blog much. The main reason was because I'd given up hope of trying to get my PhD. I was stressed and really thought I couldn't do it. I told my mentor "maybe next year". I walked away from my paper and told myself that maybe grad school wasn't for me anyway. THEN, I couldn't walk away. I watched my interns hard at work on their papers and posters and told myself that if they can do it, so can I (especially considering they are 4 and 5 years younger than me). So I got back on the horse and started on my project, but this time at my pace. I also found out that my alma mater UMBC had a GRE prep course but by the time I was all set to take it, the registration had ended and the class was due to start 3 days from then. I emailed the contact and asked if they had a cancelled spot because I REALLY needed to take this class. Turns out one, yes ONE person had dropped out and I could join. Only problem was it was nearly $600 so I ended up paying for it with my credit card. It was sooo worth it though. I had a great instructor and I got some great instructions that I hope will really give me an edge when I take the test in October.

I had to realize that the title of my blog really does explain this process. Its all a journey. I will have ups and downs but I can't give up just because it gets too hard or I get a little too stressed out. Now my paper has switched gears and has slightly changed but is in essence the same concepts. I still have a lot of studying to do and I registered for a one credit online course.

I'm stable. I'm happy. As hard is it is to believe, I feel normal and that feels weird. I told my therapist last week, "so this must be what normal people feel like all the time." I'm excited and scared but extremely determined. I have people surrounding me, telling me that I can do this. I'm not worried about letting them down. I'm worried about half-assing. I WANT to do my very best. If I don't get in, well then at least I know that I did the best I could. It sounds cliche, but honestly it really is a good way to deal with that type of disappointment.

On top of all that, I've given up red meat. I did slip up twice. I ordered pasta from Panera and forgot that it was a meat sauce. Then I went to a party a little over a week later and had jerk and curry chicken. It smelled so good I was already biting into it before I remembered I wasn't supposed to. I mean who wouldn't want authentic jamaican food from an actuall jamaican? I really wasn't going to say no to that. LOL. Then yesterday I had 3 pieces of bacon in my breakfast combo from Silver Diner. I honestly didn't like it as much as I thought I would. I could've stopped at half a piece. It just seemed so salty. Red meat actually tastes weird to me now. So I figured having some one every week or every other week shouldn't be too bad but I'm actually really content without them. I have actually started eating fish more than I ever have and all is well. I'm liking this new lifestyle. I won't call it a diet considering it just a new way of life.

The hardest thing is eating out. I realized that I was quick to get burgers and chicken before. I spent the majority of my income on food. Now, I'm cooking at home, bringing my lunch, and can hardly find fast food meatless options I like so I'm saving money. I feel like I should've done this sooner. We'll see how I feel a couple months from now.

1 comment:


    Does God offer a special plan of salvation for those who are unsaved and experience sudden death before they have a chance to obey God's commands?

    Many like to claim salvation for those who believe, but face sudden death before they are baptized in water for the forgiveness of their sins. Is, the excuse, I did not have time to baptized written in Scripture, as an exception to God's commandment to be baptized so that your sins may be forgiven? Of course not!

    Jesus said he who believes and is baptized shall be saved. (Mark 16:16) Can men revoke what Jesus said because they believe Jesus was being unfair? Of course not!

    Assume a preacher was his way to preach the gospel to a dying man, who had indicated be was open to believing, but had not made that confession. If that man died before he believed, could that man's friends and relatives claim "The Sudden Death Plan of Salvation," because he did not have time to believe? Of course not!

    If a Christian was openly a drunkard, a thief, a fornicator, and a serial killer, but decided that next week he was going to repent of his sins and ask God for forgiveness, but died before he had the chance; would he be able to claim "Sudden Death Repentance and Forgiveness?" Of course not!

    Men can speculate about, Sudden Death Plans of Salvation; however, there are no Scriptures to confirm it.

    There is no Scripture that states men can be saved if they suddenly die before they have time to believe.

    The is no Bible verse that says men can be saved if they suddenly die before they have time to repent.

    The nothing stated under the new covenant that says men can be saved if they die before they have time to confess Jesus as the Christ.

    There is no verse of Scripture that says men can be saved if they suddenly die before they have time to be baptized.


    Dead men cannot believe.
    Dead men cannot repent.
    Dead men cannot confess.
    Dead men cannot be baptized.
    Dead men who die in their sins cannot be saved.

    Men do not die without believing and being baptized because they did not have time. IT HAPPENS BECAUSE THEY DID NOT TAKE THE TIME THEY HAD AVAILABLE, TO BELIEVE AND BE BAPTIZED!

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